laughing.

In the wise words of Mo Higgins, it's always good to laugh to keep from crying.
Sometimes I feel like crying at my stupidity. But I'll try to laugh...
I have been thinking a lot about the horrible attitude I have had in the last few months about Titus 2. I distinctly remember telling Leila one night "I shouldn't even go because nothing applies to me!"
I'm so stupid. I wish I would have paid more attention. I find my self going back over and over the books we have read trying to catch up and figure things out. God has a sense of humor. I thought it was going to be years until any of those things about being in the trenches of raising children would apply. Well guess what, I have two kids now. And I'm in the trenches. And I'm drowning. I have no idea what I'm doing. People always say "You are so good with kids!" Well yes, I'm good with kids who are trained by their parents. I don't know how to be a parent. I have been completely humbled over and over. I have seen so much sin come out of me that I have never seen before. It's scary. I have also never prayed and read my Bible so much in my life. The only way I will ever get through this is with God's help.